Helping your child
handle stress during the junior high years
To adults, children can seem completely carefree—they hang
out with friends, play their videogames and seem to be
skating blissfully through their days. However, if you
could get inside their heads, you might find their lives
are less than idyllic.
The physical, intellectual, emotional and social changes
that junior high are experiencing rival those of babies
and toddlers. Not only can this time of life be confusing
(imagine how you would feel if your foot size changed
three times in six months!), it can cause some very real
stress for kids.
Defining pre-adolescent stress
Although the types of things that lead to stress for
children may be unique, their reactions are often much the
same as adults.
Situations, such as trying out for a sports team or taking
an important tests, can elicit a wide range of responses
in kids. While some may experience total calm, others
become agitated and edgy. Still others may have a "fight
or flight" response when faced with having to do something
uncomfortable. The adrenaline rush associated with
children's anxiety may cause them to either lash out at
others or run away from the situation.
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Chronic stress is the term for on-going stress often
caused by more serious situations, such as parents’
divorce or bullying. Some possible signs of chronic stress
include:
Upset
stomach, diarrhea or indigestion
Headache, backache
Insomnia
Eating too much or too little
Hostile, angry or irritable
reactions
Avoiding other people
Crying
Frustration with things that
otherwise only bother kids slightly.
Helping kids handle stress
Here are some suggestions to help ease your children’s
stress:
Make
time for your children each day. Though your
children may seem to want more space and freedom, they
actually still crave attention from the people closest
to them. In the preteen and teen years, parents really
need to know what is going on in their children’s lives,
and the only way to do that is to talk and spend time
with them.
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Encourage proper rest and nutrition. The demands of
school work, extracurricular activities and socializing
can result in late bedtimes and less-than-stellar diets
for kids. Children in junior high are still growing and
need adequate rest (at least eight to 10 hours of sleep
a night). A diet rich in wholesome foods can ensure
proper growth, as well as bolster the ability to handle
stress.
Give
their concerns serious consideration. If you are
lucky enough to have children who confide in you about
their concerns, take these matters to heart. Although
arguments with friends may seem trivial to you, they
likely loom large in their minds. Give your children
time to talk things out without immediately interjecting
your opinions or trying to solve their problems for
them.
Help
your children put stress in perspective. Helping
them think through the worst case scenario might ease
some of the lurking fears that can cause stress
(example: "What is the worst thing that will happen if
your don’t pass the math test? You’ll have to study
harder and try to do better on your next exam.").
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Set
limits and stay firm. Even though kids at this age
would never say it, what they really want are limits and
supervision. So much is changing for them. To feel safe
and secure in this part of their lives, they need to
know that some things (such as their parents’ love,
respect and expectations) are the same.
Help
children anticipate and plan for potentially stressful
situations. For example, the stress created by
last-minute cramming for a major test can be lessened by
scheduling study sessions in the week(s) leading up to
the test.
Encourage your children to stay active. Endorphins,
the chemicals released during and after a workout,
create feelings of calmness and well-being.
Stress-relieving exercise can range from walking or bike
riding to yoga or martial arts.
Encourage hobbies and extracurricular activities.
Any activity that focuses your children’s attention and
provides a sense of accomplishment can be a great stress
reliever. However, for some kids, too much structured
activity can be the cause of stress. Use your children’s
comments and reactions to judge whether they should add
or reduce activities.
Model
positive ways of coping with stress. If you brood,
yell or skip meals in reaction to the stresses of your
own life, your children will learn similar methods of
coping. Many of the suggestions offered for easing kids’
stress can help adults handle their own stress.
When stress turns to depression
Chronic, unresolved stress can result in depression.
Depression involves extreme sadness, discouragement,
despair or hopelessness that lasts for lengths of time. It
can affect a person’s ability to function normally. If you
are concerned that your child’s problems go beyond average
stress, contact a pediatrician, guidance counselor or
social worker. For more information on childhood stress
and depression, link to
http://www.kidshealth.org/parent/emotions/feelings/anxiety.html
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