Plugging into the adult world: Helping teens make sound decisions

"A key role of education and of life at home consists of helping children and teenagers see the coming attractions of adulthood, so that they discover what life is likely to be like some day. We must then prepare them to be up to it and up for it, ready and waiting for that which lies ahead!"

—Dr. Mel Levine, author of All Kinds of Minds (from Helping Their Heads to Look Ahead, available at www.allkindsofminds.org)

Helping teens make sound decisions about their futures is one of the conflicts of parenting teens. On the one hand, we know how fleeting youth can be and how quickly society asks kids to grow up and "get serious." Because of this, we want them to enjoy every carefree minute of being young. On the other hand, the stakes for teenagers have become much higher, particularly when it comes to preparing for life after high school.

Admittedly, many high schoolers lack the maturity and/or the desire to see beyond the immediate—after all, going out with their teenage friends or chatting online are really a lot more fun and relevant to their here and now. However, when it comes to helping your teens to start planning for the future, guidance counselors say that parents are an all-important link. Living it every day, you understand first-hand the benefits of being able to function effectively in an adult world. Here are some suggestions from guidance counselors on ways that you can help prepare your teens for the world of college and/or work, whether they are ready or willing to meet it yet:

• Encourage your teen to learn about the adult world by interacting with adults. After all, the adult world is what we are trying to prep them for, right? And how will they ever know what it is all about if they disappear to their rooms with their friends every time a person older than 18 appears in your home? Positive adult role models can come in many forms: older siblings, family friends, bosses and coaches and especially you. Jobs and volunteering can also bring teens into direct contact with mentoring adults.

• Expose your teens to a variety of career pathways. The American School Counselor Association suggests that families begin to investigate career possibilities and compare interests and abilities with specific career requirements as early as ninth grade. Many good interest inventories are available on-line, including: www.mapping-your-future.org/planning and www.collegeboard.com/planning/myroad. If your teen is not sure about career goals, the school guidance staff can also help evaluate interests and aptitudes for various occupations.

• Visit colleges early. Visits to older siblings or friends in college can provide teens with an important look into the world of education beyond high school. If your teen has expressed an interest in a particular career or is showing an aptitude in sports, music, art or other skill, arrange to visit a college or technical school that emphasizes higher education in that area. Ask your teen’s guidance counselor for specific recommendations.

• Take advantage of high school internships. Hands-on learning is one of the best ways to determine whether a career or vocation is the right match, to gain valuable workplace experience and a clearer understanding of the importance of a good education in today’s high-tech, high-skills economy. Teens are also able to see the connection between school and work, as they learn what kinds of knowledge, skills and education are required to succeed in a chosen field. Internships can also help teens develop contacts within the local business community and expand their future employment possibilities. The guidance staff can suggest internships that mesh with your teen’s interests or point them toward computer-based searches for other ideas.

• Help your teen get involved in volunteer work/community service. Volunteering their time can provide teens with many of the same benefits of formal internships, while allowing them to learn the personal satisfaction that comes from helping others. Help your teen tailor volunteer work and community service to his or her own interests and strengths. For example, a teen interested in becoming a veterinarian might enjoy working at the local animal shelter or one with teaching aspirations might volunteer time at a local day care center. Check with the guidance office, with local organizations such as the United Way (www.national.unitedway.org), church or youth organizations for suggestions.
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