• First, read over the report card with your children. Before you react—positively or negatively—ask what they think. Were they pleased or surprised by any of the comments? What do they believe is going right or wrong?
   
• If it’s a great report, let your children know you are proud of them. Teens may not always admit it, but most do want to please their parents. Celebrate their successes! But focus as much on their efforts as the end result. When students bring a "C" up to a "B" or an 85 up to a 90, it may well be the result of their buckling down and improving their study habits – for example, by getting every homework assignment in on time or putting in extra hours preparing for tests. Let your children know you recognize and appreciate their hard work.
   
• If it’s a disappointing report, take a deep breath. Then talk calmly about what they can do to turn things around. For example, if homework is missing, find out why. Do they use an assignment notebook? Are outside activities interfering with their ability to focus on academics? Teens need to believe that you view them as a major part of the solution. Do some brainstorming along with your children and encourage them to take responsibility for helping solve the problem.
   
• If you have questions or concerns, call the guidance office. A guidance counselor can gather more detailed information and help facilitate meetings with one or more of your children’s teachers. [top]

A teacher conference may be the best way to find out what is really happening academically for your child, BOTH GOOD AND BAD—and don’t let your teen talk you out of one if you feel it is really needed! Following are some tips on how to get the most positive results from a conference:

• Think about the situation. Before making the call to request a conference, take the time to figure out why your teen is having problems in school. Are extracurricular activities eating up too much time outside of school? Is there a personality conflict with the teacher? Has the family recently experienced some type of change or crisis? You are the one who knows the most about what may be affecting your teen. Your insight can be very helpful.
   
• Go prepared. It is easy during conferences to get off subject and not cover some of your concerns. Before you go into the conference, write down the important points or questions you want to discuss. Also, take a pad and pen along to jot down new questions or concerns that may come up during the conference.
   
• If it is reasonable, ask that your teen be included in the conference. A young adult is much more likely to feel like turning things around if he or she is considered to be a mature and capable participant in the process. If your teen can not be included in the conference, make sure that afterwards you explain exactly what was discussed and what, if anything, is expected of him or her.
   
• Stay neutral. If your teen’s teacher or counselor tells you something that is disappointing or upsetting, use what has been said as a springboard to brainstorm solutions.
   
• Accentuate the positive. The conference is about finding ways of helping your teen be more successful, which can be difficult if the whole tenor of the conversation is purely negative. Maybe your teen is having some problems in school, but undoubtedly, there are some good aspects to his or her performance that can be celebrated. For example, your son’s English grade may be down, but he seems to be getting it together in biology. Or his English and biology grades may both be suffering, but he’s experiencing success in some out-of-school activity. By acknowledging the positives, you and the teacher may be better able to help him find strategies for overcoming the negatives. [top]