Rising to the
Challenge
Helping your child successfully handle change at
school…and beyond
From the first trip on the big yellow school bus to the
moving-up ceremony at the end of sixth grade, the
elementary years are filled with lots of change. And while
some children meet these new experiences with ease and
eagerness, others have difficulty plunging into unfamiliar
waters.
During the elementary years, the transition from one year
to the next can be particularly challenging, requiring
children to adjust to new people and to take on more
complex workloads and responsibilities. School stress can
also be exacerbated by changes in children’s home lives
(e.g., the birth of a sibling, divorce, death, etc.)
Preparing children to meet new challenges
There are many things families can do to help their
children cope with change and successfully take on the new
experiences. Here are some suggestions:
Set
the tone for school success. When children are
young, they use your reactions and emotions as primary
indicators of how they should view and respond to new
situations. For this reason, your enthusiasm about
school can be contagious.
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Help
boost children’s independence by encouraging them to
take on responsibility at home. Success with
tasks at home, like choosing their clothing for the day,
getting themselves dressed, preparing lunch or caring
for a pet, can help children take on new experiences
outside the home with greater confidence.
Buy
an inexpensive paper or erasable calendar with large
grids (available at office supply stores) and help your
children schedule their days, including
assignments, sports and other extracurricular
activities, appointments, special events and holidays.
Keeping a calendar posted in a prominent location at
home helps children anticipate what activities are
coming and what is expected of them. It is also a great
way to teach organizational skills that become more and
more important as they move through school.
Establish a predictable routine early in the school
year. Each day, check your children’s backpacks
for important notices and communication from teachers,
set aside a place to store the items children need to
head off to school (backpacks, coats, school supplies,
sneakers, instruments) and establish a consistent
homework time each day. The more organized your home
routine is, the more safe and secure kids will feel and
the less stress they will carry out the door with them.
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Continually assess your children’s overall schedule
(academic, social, extracurricular) and make sure there
is balance.
Too many activities in any area are
likely to cause extra stress for children and for you.
During the school year, consider limiting children to
one or two extracurricular activities.
Make
sure children are getting adequate sleep each night, and
begin the day with a nutritious breakfast.
Make
sure children have time for daily physical activity and
exercise. Rather than having them complete their
homework as soon as they get home, set aside an hour or
two after school for them to play and blow off some
steam.
Limit the amount of time spent watching television and
videos or playing computer games, which are
passive, isolating activities. Encourage your children
to use their free time to read, listen to music, pursue
hobbies, spend time with friends or take part in
activities that your family enjoys.
Connect as a family with activities like meals,
walks or games that give everyone time to talk about
their day and the things that interest and concern them.
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Make
sure children catch the bus and/or arrive at school on
time each day. The bus ride to school plus the
first 10 to 15 minutes of the day can be an important time
for children to connect with their friends and set the
tone for learning.
Teach your children anxiety-reducing strategies, such as
deep breathing and stretching. Yoga Games for
Children: Fun and Fitness With Postures, Movements and
Breath (Hunter House Smartfun Book) by Danielle
Bersma is a great resource. Many children who are
tentative about confronting new situations benefit from
role-playing with a trusted parent or family member.
Don’t wait until a concern becomes a larger problem.
What may start out as discomfort with a new situation
can grow over time into a nagging fear or even neurosis.
Some signs that your child may be experiencing chronic
stress related to making school transitions include:
- An
expressed desire not to go to school
- Upset stomach, diarrhea or indigestion
- Headache
- Backache
- Insomnia (inability to fall asleep)
- Eating too much or too little
- Feeling hostile, angry or irritable
- Feeling anxious
- Avoiding other people
- Crying
- Feeling frustrated with things that would otherwise only
bother your child a little bit.
If you think that your child is having particular
difficulty making school transitions, enlist the help of
your child’s teacher, principal or school social worker.
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