• Keeping a predictable daily routine. This includes wake-up and bedtime at about the same time each day, clear plans for getting cleaned and dressed and family meals together as often as possible. When children know that things at home run smoothly, they are more likely to feel calm and confident as they take on the day.

• Encouraging and modeling positive ways for children to handle their emotions. A lack of emotional maturity and ability to handle frustrations calmly are often at the root of many of the problems children have in school and with friends. Teach your children how to talk through problems. Encourage them to count to 10, take a few deep breaths or find a quiet space where they can cool off before acting on what they are feeling.

• Teaching tolerance. The lessons children learn at home about acceptance of others have a big impact on how they approach the people they meet outside of their home.

• Providing active play time and downtime. Kids' lives can become very busy with school, extracurricular activities and family commitments. Active, unstructured play helps children burn off pent-up energy and anxiety. Quiet time — not spent in front of a TV or computer but rather reading, drawing and writing — allows children to reflect on things they have seen and felt throughout the day. Adequate sleep helps them recharge their batteries. All are key to helping children become physically better able to handle their emotions peacefully.

• Providing a structured time and space for homework and lessons. This sends children the message that the hard work they do to learn is valued and supported.

• Helping everyone get organized. Enlisting children's help in packing lunches and items for the next day and providing a space where backpacks are emptied and reloaded daily can ease chaos and stress. It also teaches them to be self-reliant.

• Assigning home responsibilities to all family members. Though it may seem more efficient to set the table or put in a load of laundry yourself, encouraging children to take on new and challenging tasks around the house boosts their self-esteem and teaches them what it means to be part of a community.

• Planning family service projects or civic activities. Caring and concern for others are at the heart of good character. There are many opportunities for family service. For ideas, check with your local city or town hall, religious group or such charitable organizations as the United Way.

Character education in school

In reaction to school violence, bullying and general disrespect for others, New York Governor George Pataki signed into law the Safe Schools Against Violence in Education (SAVE) Act. This law includes a requirement that all public schools in the state include lessons in character as part of their curriculum from kindergarten through grade 12. Though the law was new in the year 2000, helping children understand and put into practice good habits of character has long been a part of the elementary program. In light of the SAVE Act, schools are now using a more formal curriculum on character that is taught directly as classroom lessons. In general, the curriculum on character taught in schools is based on a handful of simple principles. These include:

• Trustworthiness. Be honest and reliable. Have the courage to do the right thing. Be loyal to your family, friends and country. 

• Respect. Treat others with respect. Be tolerant of differences. Use good manners, not bad language. Deal peacefully with anger, insults and disagreements.

• Responsibility. Do what you are supposed to do. Keep on trying. Do your best. Think before you act — consider the consequences of your choices.

• Fairness. Play by the rules. Take turns and share. Be open-minded. Listen to others. Don't blame others carelessly.

• Caring. Be kind, compassionate and show you care. Be thankful. Forgive others. Help people in need.

• Citizenship. Do your share to make your community better. Obey laws and rules. Respect authority. Protect the environment.

(Source: Character Counts! http://www.charactercounts.org)


Books about character for kids

One of the ways children learn about their world is through the characters they meet in books. Here is a sampling of books that illustrate a variety of positive character traits. For a more comprehensive list of books, link to http://charactercounts.org/booklist1.htm

Primary grades

• Iris and Walter by Elissa Haden Guest

• Jamaica Tag-Along by Juanita Havill

• Thunder Cake by Patricia Polacco

• King of the Playground by Phyllis Reynolds Naylor

• Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day by Judith Viorst

• A Chair for My Mother by Vera B. Williams

Upper elementary grades

• Otherwise Known as Sheila the Great by Judy Blume

• The Janitor’s Boy by Andrew Clements

• One Grain of Rice by Demi

• Because of Winn-Dixie by Kate DiCamillo

• When Zachary Beaver Came to Town by Kimberly Willis Holt

• A Night Without Stars by James Howe
   

Resources for families who want to learn more about raising children of character:

• Parents, Kids and Character: 21 Strategies to Help Your Children Develop Good Character by Dr. Helen R LeGette

• Being Your Best: Character Building for Kids 7-10 by Barbara A. Lewis

• Character Matters: How to Help Our Children Develop Good Judgment, Integrity, and Other Essential Virtues by Thomas Lickona

• http://www.bu.edu/education/caec/files/10tips.htm
  At this link to The Center for the Advancement of Ethics and Character at Boston University, you'll find an article on 10 tips for raising children of character.

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